To See Her Smile and Suffer
by Unedited Creativity
Summary: CloudxAerith Even after defeating Kadaj, Cloud still can't get over not saving Aerith. Ifalna is here to show him the truth. T for later complicated situations and language complete! sub chapter has sephirothxaerith
1. If I Had A Wish

To See Her Smile and Suffer

Notes: FF7 is NOT mine! Square Enix made it back in'97. This fan fiction is CxA BUT I adore Tifa so don't worry about her! She gets that sexy stud Reno! The story is about Ifalna has a word with Cloud to convince him that there was nothing he could do about Aerith's death and it wasn't his fault. Don't ask just read!

If I Had A Wish… 

The sun hung low in the sky, Cloud sat staring blank faced from the roof of his home with Tifa, Denzel, Marlene, and the other orphans. Aerith had told him that her favorite time of day was the evening. That all the shades of blue, purple, orange, and yellow were incredibly romantic. "She may have forgiven me but I know…I could have done something. She could be sitting here with me tonight, admiring the sky…"

"Could she really?" He stood up and looked behind him. There stood Iflana, her arms crossed and expression serious. "H-how are you here? Is she here too?" Ifalna walked over and sat beside him, prompting him to sit as well. "No, Mr. Strife. She is with the planet. I am here for one reason: to finally convince it was her fate to pass away." Cloud looked away, pulling his knees to his chest. "Her fate? I don't think so…if I had gone with her and protected her, she would not of died by Sephiroth's hand!" Ifalna shook her head. "Even if you had saved her from Sephiroth she would die." He looked down. "You don't believe me, do you? Let me show you then…" Ifalna stood, tossing her hair back. "Planet, show him how much worse it would be…show him what real pain is!" Cloud's world went dark and when he awoke he was laying in his bed. "Was I…dreaming?" He looked around, then at his clothes. "These are my old clothes…" He then heard cheerful laughter. "I can't believe we did it, eh Vinny?" Yuffie 's voice rang out. He walked out to the living room where all his friends were celebrating. "Cloud! You're awake finally! I guess our fight with Sephiroth really took it out of you!" Tifa said cheerfully, holding onto the arm of Reno. "Huh…? What's going on…?" They all stared at him as if he were mad. "You…okay, man?" Reno said, looking a little freaked out. "Ya…I'm fine but…where's Aerith?" Reeve came forward, holding Cait Sith in his arms, and said, "Aerith? She's at her church." Cloud then dashed out. "Man, he must've slammed his head really fucking bad." Cid spat.

Cloud threw the church doors open, looking frantic. Standing in the middle of the aisle was the girl who he cried so many tears for, the girl who made him happier than any one else and sadder than anyone else. There, in that aisle with her back to him, was Aerith. She then turned around, just like she had when he was using the waters to cure the children of their illness. "Cloud? Are you feeling better?" He stepped forward looking totally in awe. "You're alive? You won't…leave me again?" She covered her mouth as she giggled. "Of course not, silly! Where did you get an idea like that?" He ran to her, holding her tightly. "I…I was so scared…Oh God, I was scared!" He dug his face into her hair. Aerith returned his embrace. "I know…we all were." He pulled back, still grasping her upper arms. "No. I wasn't afraid for myself or the planet…I was afraid for you. I was afraid you would no longer laugh, cry…or get angry…" She smiled. "Well, don't worry. I'm right here and I promise to stay as long as I can. For you…for us." He brushed her hair back and kissed her. "For us…always for us." They walked back to the house, hand in hand. "Hey Aerith, I'm going to change. Can you sit with everyone else for a moment?" She nodded and he entered his room. When he turned around from shutting his door he heard, "Such bliss, isn't it?" He sat on his bed. "It is, Ifalna. I don't see how things can go wrong." Ifalna turned to the window, placing her hands on the sill. "Bask in your ecstasy while you can, Mr.Strife." He lay back, placing his arms behind his head. "Why are you doing this…? You do realize I cherish, adore, and-" Ifalna cut him off. "Love her? That is exactly why I am doing this. I do this not out of anger but out of sympathy." Cloud closed his eyes and asked, "Is this what she wants…?" He received no reply, and when he opened his eyes Ifalna was gone. Aerith then walked in, smiling. "You didn't change?" He looked up at her and opened his arms, offering her to lay with him. She cuddled up, pulling his arm snug around her waist and holding his hand. They lay silent for several minutes. "Hey Cloud."

"Yes?"

"If you had one wish, what would it be?"

"If I had a wish…it'd be to be here with you forever." Aerith smiled and snuggled up closer, quickly falling asleep.

End of Chapter 1

I'm presently working of ch5 of my Final Fantasy VIII fan fiction but ch2 will come out soon enough. Here's the time frame: when Cloud meets up with Ifalna on the roof it is right after Advent Children. When Cloud awakes after speaking with Ifalna it is right after Final Fantasy VII. This story is severely Cloud x Aerith –or Aeris, whatever V.V- The implied pairings include: Tifa and Reno, Yuffie and Vincent, Cid and Shera, and maybe a little bit of Shalua and Reeve. My FF7 experience you may ask? I have beaten the original game, seen AC and Last Order, played Before Crisis and Dirge of Cerberus some, read On The Way To A Smile and Maiden Who Travels The Planet, and I've done extensive online research to double check my facts and theories. It is safe to say I know my stuff. Reviews are encouraged BUT no flamers. That is just mean!


	2. Angels Wait To Take Me Home

To See Her Smile and Suffer

Notes and such: As stated before, I don't own Final Fantasy VII. It's purely Square Enix's. I got some opinions out of my friends Amy and Michelle, and it was generally positive. Thanks to my buddy Tollgate Keeper! Ifalna's intentions are good, I assure you. She's trying to teach him something. You'll learn soon enough. Also, it's supposed to have an ominous feel. Thanks for catching on! –Man, I can't see Cloud bawling. That would be so unlike him. Lol -

**Angels Wait To Take Me Home**

"Swing low sweet chariot. Coming for to carry me home." Aerith sang as she worked in her church. "I looked over Jordan and what did I see coming for to carry me home? A band of angels coming after me! Coming for to carry me home." She then heard footsteps. "Cloud!" She ran to him and he lifted her, spinning her around in the air. "That was a pretty song. You're a great singer." She smiled and they walked out together, her still humming that song. "Aerith, are you…afraid to die?" She glanced up at him, still smiling. "Well, sort of. I am curious to know what it is like but…I am in no hurry to go there." He laughed a little and placed his arm around her. "What did I say that was so amusing?" There was a slight chuckle in her voice. He just shrugged and said, "It's nothing…swing low, sweet chariot…coming for to carry me home."

When they came home, Aerith immediately went off to the kitchen to make dinner. Cloud went to the bathroom for a shower. He had just taken of his shirt when he glanced into the mirror and saw Ifalna. "W-what are you doing here…!" Ifalna sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Now, Mr.Strife, I want you to know something. If you come out of this having learnt what I wish to teach then much will be the reward but…if you learn nothing and continue to writhe in pain as you do I will leave you there." Cloud stared at himself in the mirror, his hands planted firm on the sink edge. "And what is my reward?" No reply. Ifalna had left again, just when he had asked a question. He just sighed and took his shower as planned, thinking over what Ifalna had said. Was he to once again bear the sight of Aerith dying? To see her die again…was more than he could take.

When he came out of the bathroom and cracked the bedroom door ajar he noticed Aerith was in there but she was doing something. It took a minute for him to see it but then he saw…bandages. "Geostigma…?" She had bandages from an inch below her belly button to only half an inch below her collarbone. He shut the door quickly, his back pressed against it. "Ifalna…why? Why? WHY, GOD DAMN IT, WHY!" Aerith came out, fully dressed. "Cloud! Are you all right?" She placed her hands on his shoulders staring up at him with those eyes. "I-it's…nothing…really." She stared at him and shook her head. "You don't just go yelling 'why' for no reason. What's wrong?" His lips trembled. "I don't want to…see it again." She placed a hand on his cheek and guided him to the couch. "See what again?" He choked back tears, gripping her hand tightly. "I don't want to see you die again…" Her eyes widened and she looked down. "Is this why…you've been so concerned with me and death?" He nodded solemnly, unable to look at her. "Now you are sick and I…I don't know what to do." She placed her hands on his cheeks and guided his gaze to her. "I love you, Cloud Strife and if any one is going to save me, I know it will be you." It was like his heart had stopped at this statement. "I believe in you." He let out a gasp and looked down again. "You…believe in me? After I've failed you before…" She closed her eyes. "You never failed me. I am here, am I not?" He couldn't face her now. "I saw Sephiroth…plunge his sword into your back…while you prayed for Holy." She let one tear roll and leaned against him. "Cloud…that never happened." He stood up and walked to the window. "It did happen! I remember it so perfectly…you opened your eyes and smiled at me. I was so happy to find you until…" Aerith came up behind him, placing her hands on his back and resting her forehead there as well. "If that happened…is any of this real now?"

"I…I don't know." He told the truth. He didn't know if this were real. It felt real but it didn't make sense. "You would never lie to me, Cloud. I know that to be true so…we'll wait to see what is to happen next and go from there." He turned around, and held her.

Chapter 2 End

We're getting into the really sad, drama stuff BUT there is a revelation at the end. I changed it from tragedy to angst because well…in the end it isn't such a tragedy.

**- "It" as in the story. Aerith's death is a major tragedy. – I plan to end this one with in about…4 chapters and if I feel up to it, I'll write an Ending Author's Notes and maybe even a little epilogue. Here's some advice: fear not for Cloud. He'll be truly happy at the end, I assure you. Oh if you are a rabid Cloud and Aerith fan, you have noticed that in Chapter 1 I used a line from the Aerith death scene. If you can find it and tell me the EXACT thing he says in the original, I'll do one thing you want for this fan fiction. – Aside from anything completely retard/insane and if you insist on this crazy idea then I'm defaulting your prize to my friend Tollgate Keeper. Keep it reasonable people! XP - **


	3. The End of Passion

To See Her Smile and Suffer

Notes and what not: I hate having to say this every chapter but I don't own Final Fantasy VII. It belongs to Square Enix. Now, major thanks to reviewer AeirthRosey. What you said convinced me to take a break from my work. Any who, if you are the type to tear up at dramatic stories then I suggest you go grab your tissue box. It never hurts to be prepared, right?

The End of Passion

Aerith sat in bed, knitting a new sweater for Cloud. She was in horrible condition but she hardly even noticed it. In fact, the only reason she lay in bed was because Cloud made her. She was graced with visitors once in a while. Tifa came when she could and the rest visited at least once. "Tifa, if something bad does happen, and God prevent it, then do me a favor." Tifa smiled, holding the ball of yarn Aerith was working with. "Sure…you name it." Aeirth paused for a moment, looking out the window. It was so lovely out today and all she could do was sit in her bed and admire it from a distance. "Make sure Cloud stays well." Tifa looked over at her, Aerith not returning her gaze. Tifa stood and opened the window. "He'll be fine. I wouldn't worry about him if I were you." Aerith then got out of bed, looking out the window. "He's so fragile, Tifa. He may not show it in front of you or the others but he could break at any moment." Tifa sighed and nodded, agreeing to do Aerith's favor.

"She'll be okay, right Cloud?" Marlene stared up at him, eyes full of hope and fear. He looked away, feeling a little awkward. He never was good with children, especially in high-tension situations. "She'll be fine, Marlene. Don't worry 'bout it." Reno said, sitting on the steps of the porch. "That Ancient has moxy. She doesn't give up easy, you know." Cloud nodded. Reno was right in that she did carry a certain level of inner strength. She was real calm under pressure. Marlene smiled, feeling a small amount of comfort from Reno's words. Tifa finally came out, looking a little uneasy. Reno stood up and walked over to her. "Well?" Tifa shook her head. "She acts like she his just fine but her appearance…is less than encouraging." Cloud walked past her, pretending that he wasn't listening. He entered Aerith's room where she still sat. "How are you feeling?" He took a seat at the foot of her bed, watching her. "All right, I guess. A bit tired but generally okay." He sighed and laid his head in her lap. He had no idea what to do. She was slowly slipping away and this time there was absolutely nothing to be done. When he looked up at her, she was asleep. He left then, to let her rest. "She's sleeping. I suggest you all take your leave."

The next morning he entered her room, carrying her morning meal. He set it on the table beside her bed and whispered, "Aerith, it is time to get up…" No answer. "Aerith, wake up." Again, he received no reply. He grew a bit frantic now. "Aerith, please get up!" As before, she gave no reply. He placed his ear against her breast. There was nothing. He had heard her up that night making some sort of noise but she did it often and told him not to mind it. Her face was still in a look of pain. She had died that night, alone and struggling in agony. He never came to her. He had failed her all over again. "If you had came, would it have made a difference?" Ifalna sat in the chair in the corner of the room. Cloud held Aerith's hand tight, tears falling like rain. "She wasn't alone, Mr.Strife. I sat at her bedside the entire time. She never asked me for help or anything. She just fought with her pain. She fought to live, Mr.Strife! She never gave up! If she can fight, even in the face of unbeatable odds, you can pick up and live life like a normal person! There is nothing threatening you! You gave up because you were weak! Learn from her strength! Become strong and live to be a proud and outstanding person!" He didn't say anything to Ifalna for sometime. He sat at her side for what seemed an eternity. "I will…I will be strong! I will live my life with her strength! I will live for her! I will live for us! Always for us!" Ifalna finally smiled. He had learned the true meaning of this. He had given up his will to live meaninglessly and now had regained it fully. He was prepared to face the world again. "Ifalna…do you think it will make her happy?" He felt a hand on his shoulder. "It will make me happy." He looked up to see Aerith's face. When he blinked, they were together in that flower field she had taken him to before. Iflana stood off to the side. He stood, looked Aerith in the eye, and smiled. "I will live." She nodded, and lightly kissed him on the lips. His world went black as it did when Ifalna started all this. He was on his way to picking up the pieces of his life. The life he was about to start anew.

END

-Because I am so nice, I shall write an epilogue! A real short one, I know. Well, to see the epilogue you have to go to which will be up soon. I'll post the day it opens on my profile. Much love to the reviewers! -


	4. Sub Chap: Our Return

Sub Chapter: Our Return

Notes: Because I am lonely and wired on Coca-Cola, I am writing a rather strange SephirothxAerith fan fiction with hints of CloudxAerith.

"Get up. It's time for us to go…" She put her hand out but every time she tried he didn't budge. "Please get up. For me?" Still, he didn't move. He just stood there in the strange semi-solid semi-liquid land. He shook his head and crossed his arms.

"I won't go…I can't go." She placed her hands behind her back and leaned forward looking up at him. It was somewhat of a strain because he was so tall. He looked down her a tad confused. She was a rather peculiar woman but still a pleasant companion. He turned his back to her and took a few steps. She pulled up and smiled with a small laugh. He was so fun in his I'm-so-serious way.

"Why not? Do you regret your actions? You've tried so hard to atone. I think it is time we went." He plopped down on the ground and sat with his legs crossed. As usual, she was dead on. He did feel some guilt in what he had done. He had grown violently angry with rage that truly wasn't his. He thought he was the last of the cetra when really…that rage belonged to her. Plus, she wasn't even angry. The true last of them took pride in her race but was not out to hurt others for what had happened to them. He killed countless people meaninglessly over a problem that wasn't even his…

"Why weren't you ever mad about it? I mean…I grew furious when I believed myself last of the cetra but…you, the true heir to the race, show no contempt for what had happened." She shifted her mouth to the side and sat down beside him, hugging her knees to her chest. She leaned against him causing him to look away in slight embarrassment.

"That's an easy one! I am not angry because no one caused the extinction of the cetra aside from Jenova. It was no human's fault." He sighed and placed his hands back to support himself. She leaned forward and looked at his face. His eyes were filled with fear and complexity. "Listen, if you don't want to go then…we can stay here a while longer."

"Why can't you go?"

"Simple! I don't want to leave you all alone." He smiled; something had not done with out malicious glee in quite some time. He placed his hand atop hers and gripped in a very passive manner. It had been some time sense someone had held her hand that way. She thought back to when she was traveling with her friends and Cloud would hold her hand that way. They were running and laughing…unaware of what was to come.

"How can you not hate me then? I brought an end to your own life…something I regret still." He finally pulled up the bravery to look her in the eye. It was funny how he fearlessly cut down countless foes but it took all his courage to look one woman in the eyes. "Is this why every time you I try to take your hand mine just slips through your fingers?"

"Well…I am not mad at you simply because you were lost and confused…like a child led into a dark cult while still at an impressionable age. You know, to fix a house that was built wrong first you have to tear it all down but that isn't how it is with people. To fix a person who started off wrong you build them up and help them, not throw them down. I do not blame you because you were lead astray. As for your hand…well that's your own guilt creating hesitation. No wonder you and Cloud are so associated with each other. You both refuse to let go of silly guilt." He let out a rough breath. He did not to even think about that man called "Cloud Strife". It was Cloud's fault Sephiroth couldn't see his own dishevelment completely. He knew though that Cloud was always lying to himself. He pretended that he was chasing him to "save the world" but really it was the call of Reunion pulling him along like all the others. "I remember, back when I was around fifteen years old, you passed through Sector Five and you said to me 'Why are you staring at me'. I gulped in fear and told you that it would probably be the first and last time I'd see such a great soldier. You laughed in your usual haughty manner and said 'Find me and follow me. You'll find me in the dark of matinee' and then you went on walking. I watched you leaved completely baffled by what you had said."

"Really…I was just teasing you. Back then it wasn't uncommon to have teenage girls gaping at me. I didn't think you were any different. Just another 'fan girl' so to speak." He finally stood again, still holding her hand. She followed in suit, filled with a certain amount of hope. "Perhaps it is time we went. The planet is waiting for us." She smiled cheerfully and began running, like she did when she and Cloud were together. But unlike when she was with Cloud, she was pulling him along. Sephiroth was near tripping at her steady, energy filled pace. It was finally time for them to go.

"Before you go…I want you to know that Cloud wants to see you my dear." Ifalna stood to the side, her words causing Aerith to take a sudden stop. Aerith looked back at Sephiroth, her expression asking permission to see Cloud one more time. He nodded and released her hand.

"I'll be back soon. Do not worry." She disappeared with Ifalna, leaving Sephiroth to anticipate their return to the planet together.

The End

A short one but I just felt like writing, To understand the ending you'd have had to read To See Her Smile and Suffer all the way through. Hopefully you did since it is attached to it. Woot!


	5. Epilogue: Girl At The Train Station

**Epilogue: Girl At The Train Station**

I did the sub-chapter and decided "What the hell! I'll write the epilogue"! So hear it is! You know what happens to Aerith so now learn how it all ends for Cloud.

_Dear Mr. Strife,_

_I saw you at the train station some eight days ago. You seemed happy enough so I didn't want to bother you. And well…there was one other thing. I remember seeing a girl fall and trip there. I wanted to help her myself but you beat me to the chase. What was most astonishing was her resemblance to Miss. Gainsborough, who we are all aware passed away some time ago. It was funny how you kept holding her hand, even after she was up and standing. What was her name again? I believe it was Rethiax or something like that. I was most amused to see you two swap phone numbers, knowing how reserved you usually are. _

_I am well enough, as you should know. I am here, working on the World Restoration Organization. I hardly have time to go out to see our friends because of it. I suppose I should take a break but I just cannot. Why, I don't even have time to plan my own wedding to Shalua let alone go out and have fun. The people all over need me to finish my work and thus I cannot spare a moment. Though, I must admit, it would bring me much joy to see you come here to visit. You could even bring that girl with you. If it being too dull is your concern then do not worry. Kalm is far from calm any more. There is always something happening so it will be fun. _

_How is Miss. Lockhart? I heard she is soon to be wed to Mr. Reno. A pity he never told me his last name, because it doesn't feel right to just call him "Reno". Well, we shall find out as soon as he and Miss. Lockhart are married. It was funny when we went to their engagement party and all you did was sit there sipping at the same tiny glass of punch. I never thought Mr. Valentine would out do a fellow, who used to say such odd things like "Let's mosey", in drinks. Perhaps that is my own observation and I am silly to think it. Who knows?_

_I guess I should have told you this some time ago but I shall tell you now. I once passed through Nibleheim about eighteen years ago. I saw a little boy with peculiar pointy blonde hair on the ground crying. I was in a rush to get to the reactor but I could not ignore him. I knelt down beside him and gave him a lollipop and allowed him to play with Cait Sith until I returned. When I came back he was smiling in such a way that I let a tear or two escape. I have no children of my own so I felt a sense of faux father pride when that boy took joy in what I did. What a surprise it was to see that boy again nine years later as a cadet for SOLDIER. Then again later fighting against the Shinra as a member of the group AVALANCHE. I met the lad when I was about twenty-seven but only truly grew to know him when I was forty-three. _

_Well, I suppose I should close up this letter soon. I find it quite a relief to see you getting your life back on track. Miss. Gainsborough's passing was difficult for us all but struck you the hardest. Any man who lost his lover would give up hope for some time. Perhaps the arrival of Miss. Rethiax will help you feel better and come to terms with it all. Please do take care of yourself._

_Your good friend,_

_Reeve A. Tuesti_

I wrote the epilogue in the style of a letter written by Reeve because I LOVE him! He is my sexy little middle-aged executive. Any ways, to understand the joke in Rethiax's name you have to play Kingdom Hearts II. :D


End file.
